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HokieMacDaddy HokieMacDaddy OP
Jan 29, 2026 at 08:10 AM ET
Question for you empty nesters
What’s the best part of this chapter of life that no one tells you about? Or what do you like least about it? Mrs. HMD and I are only about a month into it. I'm digging it a lot more than she is so far.

28 Replies

O
OrlandoHokie
6mo
I spend a lot more time at Twin Peaks now that my kids are in their 20's.
coshokie coshokie
6mo
I hope your kids read this message board... LOL
E
EvDogHokie
6mo
Having to find someone to watch the dogs is a hassle
That was my biggest hassle I didn't really think about before. When kid(s) were home we could just have them take care of the dogs if we wanted to go on a weekend trip or something. Now its scrambling around figuring out what to do with them if we do something last minute.
UTPr0sim UTPr0sim
6mo
Yep! Our cat gets tons of attention when we head out. Paid Attention.
ColoVT82 ColoVT82
6mo
The peace that comes from knowing the birds are doing ok. What do I like
Least about it? So many things are "the last time". Last time borrowed car Last time shoveling snow together Last time for...etc
J
jdkhokie
6mo
Honestly if they are still in college or grad school it is worse because
you have limited control over their actions and you pray they do not get hurt in car wreck or do something stupid. They still spend money like it was candy and seem to have little appreciation that they are delaying your permanent retirement and future plans. I want to buy a sizeable tract of land with a cabin in Western Carolina or Southwest Virginia and I am now 4 years out from making it happen. My dream is to trout fish become anonymous and off the main grid and get armed to the teeth in case we are invaded by space aliens. They could be here tomorrow.
B
BleedinOandM
6mo
A buddy told me that when you become empty nesters....
you find out that either (1) you have nothing in common with your wife anymore or (2) you reconnect.....I am liking that my wife and I have reconnected.
Stork Stork
6mo
Not having to answer to The Man.
L
lilhokie525
6mo
The biggest challenge for us was finding a social group. We have twins,
and for 18 years, our social group had been the parents of their friends.
HokieMacDaddy HokieMacDaddy OP
6mo
Why isn't it still?
L
lilhokie525
6mo
People move on. One couple got divorced. Several others
moved away, and we found that we had less in common with the ones remaining than we used to.
Brown Water Brown Water
6mo
They never really liked them anyway
** Edited by Brown Water at 1/29/2026, 9:50:51 AM
TomTurkey TomTurkey
6mo
It came down to...
H
HokieHusband
6mo
1) You clean the house and it's still clean tomorrow;
2) You buy groceries and you still have food in the house tomorrow; 3) Ditto #2 for beer and wine
B
BleedinOandM
6mo
POTD
HokieMacDaddy HokieMacDaddy OP
6mo
Preach
I think my wife cooks once or twice a week now, and we only have to do dishes every couple of days.
H
HokieHusband
6mo
True. A pot of soup gets 3 meals, plus a lunch or two
RhinoVT RhinoVT
6mo
Good and bad is less structure. We don't have to make dinner or be at a
baseball game or field hockey event or stay home on a Friday/Saturday night because our room above our detached garage was full of kids. But, rather than run around on a whim, we are tied down with a dog. On the flip side, this structure and the kids activities turned into our activities. We enjoyed going and seeing all the parents. We still see them in the grocery store or Costco and talk and talk and say "let's get together soon", but it rarely happens. Finally, we miss the kids. Kinda.
HokieMacDaddy HokieMacDaddy OP
6mo
Yeah, it's interesting how adults with no kids at home can't seem to
find more time to hang out together. So I'm trying to just enjoy the time we do have with them
RhinoVT RhinoVT
6mo
I wonder about this, too, because our friends are just sitting at home
doing nothing most times like us. It is comfortable to just sit there, not clean up or prepare or have to drive somewhere. A kid or school event made you do it. If it's a choice, laziness rules.
HokieMacDaddy HokieMacDaddy OP
6mo
Lame. Guess I'm just not ready to be that old yet
UTPr0sim UTPr0sim
6mo
We run around the house nekkid? Ok you really want to know? No or little
stress. I changed my pattern of daily life and its fun. I picked a couple of no profits to help and some focus on getting reaquainted with the MRS. We travel alot, We do fun things alot, We may be drinking alot! Every day is fun and alot less looking forward to things.
HokieMacDaddy HokieMacDaddy OP
6mo
This is the direction we're starting to head
I've worked from home for 20 years so fortunately there's no need to get reacquainted with the Mrs. We both are pursuing more things we're interested in, including volunteering, now that we have more time. I do wish we had more of those things in common, but it's early so maybe that'll happen with time.
UTPr0sim UTPr0sim
6mo
We've actually found some new to both of us stuff that we like! Go Figure!
Brown Water Brown Water
6mo
Swinging from the chandeliers
Burruss Writer Burruss Writer
6mo
I lingered on the "Swinging" just long enough to get the wrong impression
Spud Spud
6mo
And the Chandeliers are the French couple next door.
V
Va AandM
6mo
Grandkids, if your lucky enough to eventually get them
Just takes time to adjust to the new situation. In our case it was 25 years since there was only us. Then we had 1 move back in for 2 years after the nest was empty for a couple years and we were in a new routine. The kid went to med school 2 years after graduation and having lived with friends. That took some major adjusting for all of us after the kid away for 6 years. The kid stayed for years 1 and 2 before rotations required 5 minutes from the hospital. It was not all bad. We became a popular place for study sessions because we'd whip up snacks and had bottomless coffee and tea. On the other hand both my thesis advisors (MS, PhD) got divorced with 2 years after the last of their 3 kids went to college. ** Edited by Va AandM at 1/29/2026, 8:27:10 AM