Parenting issue with a teen driver
I'm in a bit of a pickle I've never been in, or even know anyone who has been, before.
We've got a senior in high school whose been driving for two years now, and today had his fourth collision. Thankfully, every incident had zero injuries.
1 - He was turning left into a lane of traffic within the parking lot at the mall. An oncoming car was either in their left lane or he misjudged where he was and they ended up sideswiping each other. Pretty sure this was his fault, but the details are pretty fuzzy on that one.
2 - He was sitting at a stop sign and got rear-ended.
3 - Car in front of him slowed to turn into a parking lot and he didn't brake in time and rear-ended them. This one totalled the car.
4 - (Today) Backed out of the driveway into one of our other cars. Relatively minor damage, but still likely replacing a bumper on one car and a door on the other.
I get that everyone makes mistakes. I totalled a car at that age too. But that was also my only wreck as a driver, other than a couple of times a deer tried to imitate a rhinoceros and ran into me.
He's a great kid. Gets straight A's. Volunteers a lot. Never in trouble with the school. Friend groups are similarly great kids. Got into VT early action for Mechanical Engineering. As youths of today goes, he's got his head on straight. But he's got some kind of black cloud following him around when he drives.
I feel like taking away his permit punishes us more than him since he has obligations he needs to get to. But we're getting killed with his insurance premiums. I'd like to just say from this day forward, car insurance is his problem. But he is already stressed about how to pay for college and tossing a $300+/month bill in his lap would be way more overwhelming to him than to us. And realistically, it would come out of our pocket either way since he is trying to save money for college and we're covering what he can't.
What are reasonable consequences for repetitive car collisions that don't end up punishing the parents more than the kid?
Posted: 04/28/2025 at 01:06 PM ET
Thread Replies (51)
Parenting issue with a teen driver
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-- Tafkam Hokie
Apr 28, 2025 at 01:06 PM ET
Tafkam Hokie
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04/28/25 01:06 PM ET
Check out Tire Rack Street Survival
-- TechMomof2
May 01, 2025 at 11:07 AM ET
TechMomof2
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05/01/25 11:07 AM ET
https://streetsurvival.org/**
-- TechMomof2
May 01, 2025 at 03:31 PM ET
TechMomof2
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05/01/25 03:31 PM ET
Poor spatial skills. If you’re going to dental school you get tested for
-- DonHo-kieHi
Apr 28, 2025 at 08:48 PM ET
DonHo-kieHi
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04/28/25 08:48 PM ET
bus, walk, bike? (try a different/lowercase version of locomotion).**
-- bourbonstreet
Apr 28, 2025 at 08:38 PM ET
bourbonstreet
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04/28/25 08:38 PM ET
Buy him old school ford f450 straight shift no power steering diesel.
-- okiehokie1
Apr 28, 2025 at 06:41 PM ET
okiehokie1
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04/28/25 06:41 PM ET
He needs to focus when driving. Not everyone is good at it, but it seems
-- Vtskier1
Apr 28, 2025 at 03:58 PM ET
Vtskier1
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04/28/25 03:58 PM ET
Maybe a Tesla with the self driving mode?
-- EDGEMAN
Apr 28, 2025 at 03:59 PM ET
EDGEMAN
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04/28/25 03:59 PM ET
So the answer is to buy him an expensive car? lol. I don't have an answer->
-- HOKIERIT
Apr 28, 2025 at 08:14 PM ET
HOKIERIT
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04/28/25 08:14 PM ET
Was thinking a car that wouldn't run into other cars...lol**
-- EDGEMAN
Apr 29, 2025 at 07:03 AM ET
EDGEMAN
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04/29/25 07:03 AM ET
Like a Chrysler New Yorker from the 70s? I like the way you think...lol**
-- EDGEMAN
Apr 29, 2025 at 10:20 AM ET
EDGEMAN
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04/29/25 10:20 AM ET
Maybe a F250 with massive aftermarket steel bumpers. Like this:
-- EDGEMAN
Apr 29, 2025 at 10:29 AM ET
EDGEMAN
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04/29/25 10:29 AM ET
They are all minor incidents until they're not. I'd suggest driving lessons
-- MCL3 Hokie
Apr 28, 2025 at 03:23 PM ET
MCL3 Hokie
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04/28/25 03:23 PM ET
I'm assuming he's had his eyes checked?
-- TribeAlumHokieFan
Apr 28, 2025 at 03:21 PM ET
TribeAlumHokieFan
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04/28/25 03:21 PM ET
You need something to monitor his driving and coach him up
-- hokieninsurance
Apr 28, 2025 at 03:21 PM ET
hokieninsurance
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04/28/25 03:21 PM ET
Couple thoughts on the thoughts
-- Tafkam Hokie
Apr 28, 2025 at 04:18 PM ET
Tafkam Hokie
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04/28/25 04:18 PM ET
Not suggesting aggressive driving, per se
-- Beerman
Apr 28, 2025 at 04:32 PM ET
Beerman
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04/28/25 04:32 PM ET
he has caused damage to two other people's cars (besides yours)
-- HokieAl
Apr 28, 2025 at 03:17 PM ET
HokieAl
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04/28/25 03:17 PM ET
Driving is a priviledge not a right. I lost my license for 6 months on my
-- UTPr0sim
Apr 28, 2025 at 03:13 PM ET
UTPr0sim
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04/28/25 03:13 PM ET
I hear this works great for improving ocular dominance... **
-- Burruss Writer
Apr 28, 2025 at 03:01 PM ET
Burruss Writer
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04/28/25 03:01 PM ET
Well, he's got to feel some financial pain from his lack of focus. The
-- Hokebury
Apr 28, 2025 at 02:56 PM ET
Hokebury
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04/28/25 02:56 PM ET
Was he in the car by himself or with buddy?Also,
-- Stork
Apr 28, 2025 at 02:52 PM ET
Stork
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04/28/25 02:52 PM ET
Every incident he was by himself in the car**
-- Tafkam Hokie
Apr 28, 2025 at 04:09 PM ET
Tafkam Hokie
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04/28/25 04:09 PM ET
It’s funny. I have a daughter and son I would have sworn beforehand that my
-- Stork
Apr 28, 2025 at 05:16 PM ET
Stork
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04/28/25 05:16 PM ET
Make sure he doesn't drive your car...lol**
-- EDGEMAN
Apr 28, 2025 at 02:21 PM ET
EDGEMAN
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04/28/25 02:21 PM ET
Well, one wasn't his fault--being rear ended at a stop sign shouldn't...
-- vthhhi
Apr 28, 2025 at 02:00 PM ET
vthhhi
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04/28/25 02:00 PM ET
Two sons and one wife - buy clunkers
-- TomTurkey
Apr 28, 2025 at 01:38 PM ET
TomTurkey
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04/28/25 01:38 PM ET
Yep, I had kids listed on my ancient honda prelude
-- RTFC
Apr 28, 2025 at 06:14 PM ET
RTFC
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04/28/25 06:14 PM ET
Debating paying for cracked windshield* to avoid SF getting nasty
-- TomTurkey
Apr 28, 2025 at 04:02 PM ET
TomTurkey
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04/28/25 04:02 PM ET
I wouldn't hold #2 against him.
-- vthokieq
Apr 28, 2025 at 01:33 PM ET
vthokieq
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04/28/25 01:33 PM ET
Well, maybe if you wore gloves, or washed your hands IMMEDIATELY after,
-- Late 80s Hokie
Apr 28, 2025 at 02:10 PM ET
Late 80s Hokie
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04/28/25 02:10 PM ET
I don't have anything useful, I don't think....
-- JoesterVT
Apr 28, 2025 at 01:30 PM ET
JoesterVT
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04/28/25 01:30 PM ET
Yep, buy him a beater car and ....
-- BleedinOandM
Apr 28, 2025 at 01:48 PM ET
BleedinOandM
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04/28/25 01:48 PM ET
Personally, it sounds like mostly bad luck, but there's a fine line between
-- UEMcGill
Apr 28, 2025 at 01:17 PM ET
UEMcGill
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04/28/25 01:17 PM ET
ehh...hitting a parked car is not bad luck.**
-- JoesterVT
Apr 28, 2025 at 01:24 PM ET
JoesterVT
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04/28/25 01:24 PM ET
Meh, I would call you on that. I know a lot of people who have done that.
-- UEMcGill
Apr 28, 2025 at 02:35 PM ET
UEMcGill
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04/28/25 02:35 PM ET
Huh...? Lol. Sorry, hitting any any stationary object is 100% your fault
-- JoesterVT
Apr 28, 2025 at 02:45 PM ET
JoesterVT
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04/28/25 02:45 PM ET
True, backing into a parked car is 100% your fault
-- Tafkam Hokie
Apr 28, 2025 at 04:34 PM ET
Tafkam Hokie
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04/28/25 04:34 PM ET
Next time you run over something that you never saw, like a nail, and blow
-- UEMcGill
Apr 28, 2025 at 03:02 PM ET
UEMcGill
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04/28/25 03:02 PM ET
Hitting a parked car is in no way similar to running over a nail.
-- reestuart
Apr 28, 2025 at 03:34 PM ET
reestuart
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04/28/25 03:34 PM ET
Your making a bizarre analogy there **
-- JoesterVT
Apr 28, 2025 at 03:16 PM ET
JoesterVT
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04/28/25 03:16 PM ET
Your words. If you hit a stationary object it's 100% your fault.
-- UEMcGill
Apr 28, 2025 at 03:31 PM ET
UEMcGill
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04/28/25 03:31 PM ET
I just have a problem with people that speak in absolutes. And saying 100%
-- UEMcGill
Apr 28, 2025 at 04:01 PM ET
UEMcGill
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04/28/25 04:01 PM ET
Here’s a bit of insurance trivia, when State Farm was founded, the policy
-- Stork
Apr 28, 2025 at 02:57 PM ET
Stork
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04/28/25 02:57 PM ET
I stopped at dumb and have been there**
-- TomTurkey
Apr 28, 2025 at 01:41 PM ET
TomTurkey
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04/28/25 01:41 PM ET