And that grass has to be watered by men with timers. Hoo's gonna do it? You? You, Coach Pry? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Tuten and you curse the Wahoos. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know, that the sprinklers, while tragic, probably saved the field. We use words like soil, moisture, and photosynthesis. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent maintaining a healthy playing surface. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a turkey who wins 18 of 19 games, and then questions the manner in which I water the turf. I would rather you just said "thank you for the 38-point win", and went on your way.